Why Do Parents Feel Guilty Asking for Help?
If you struggle with asking for help, you’re not alone. Here are some common reasons parents hesitate:
The Superparent Myth: Society glorifies the idea of “doing it all,” making us feel weak if we need support.
Fear of Judgment: Worrying that others will think we aren’t “good enough” parents. It can be hard to verbalize that we are struggling.
Comparison Trap: Seeing other parents seemingly manage everything effortlessly (spoiler: they don’t).
Guilt Over Burdening Others: Feeling like we’re inconveniencing family or friends.
But here’s the thing—parenting was never meant to be done alone. It was meant to take a village, and there’s no shame in needing one.
How to Ask for Help (Without the Guilt)
1. Reframe Help as a Strength, Not a Weakness
Think of asking for help as a way to strengthen your parenting, not a sign that you’re failing. When you get support—whether it’s a babysitter for an hour, a meal from a friend, or guidance from a parenting group or parenting program to provide you with support on your journey—you’re giving yourself the energy, patience, and resources to show up fully for your kids.
Pro Tip #1: Try this mindset shift: Instead of “I should be able to do this alone,” think “Getting help allows me to be the parent my child needs.”
2. Be Specific About What You Need
People in your circle often want to help but don’t know how. Instead of saying, “I’m so overwhelmed,” try:
“Could you pick (child name here) up from school on Tuesday?”
“Would you mind grabbing a few grocery items for me while you’re out?”
“Would you be able to come over for a bit so I can take a quick nap?”
“Could we swap playdates so we each get a break?”
The more specific you are, the easier it is for others to step in. Asking for small, manageable tasks makes it more likely that people can say yes—and every little bit of support adds up!
3. Start Small & Build Comfort
If asking for help feels awkward, start with something low-pressure. Allowing a friend to pop over with a coffee or letting someone hold the baby while you eat can help ease you into the habit.
Pro tip: Practice responding with, “Yes, that would be wonderful!” when someone offers help, instead of defaulting to, “Thanks, but I’m fine.” Accepting support isn’t a weakness—it’s a way to lighten your load and build a stronger support system.
4. Let Go of the Guilt & Pay It Forward
Still feel guilty? Remember: One day, you’ll be able to help someone else. Parenting is a cycle of give and take—sometimes you need the help, and sometimes you’ll be the one offering it.
Final Thoughts: You Deserve Support
Parenting is one of the hardest jobs in the world, and no one should have to do it alone. Asking for help isn’t a weakness—it’s an act of self-care, and it teaches your kids an important lesson: It’s okay to need others.
So next time you feel overwhelmed, take a deep breath and reach out. You’re not alone, and there’s a whole village ready to support you.
About the Author:
Heather Sakai has been a member of the Bright Beginnings team since early 2022, serving as the Social Media Engagement Coordinator. She holds a Master of Science in Social Service Administration and a Master of Arts in Contemporary Dance from Case Western Reserve University. Heather brings experience in social work and mood disorders research, marketing and social media, as well as dance instruction for children and adults in both the United States and abroad. Passionate about connecting people through social media, Heather strives to make it a safe space to ask questions, be vulnerable, and share successes and struggles. She is also the administrator of Cuyahoga Parents Connect and warmly invites you to join if you are a parent or caregiver of a child from birth to kindergarten, or if you are expecting a child.